Cancer: The Point of Life
One of the hardest parts of living with cancer is knowing that you have it. At all times during the day, in times when you least expect it, as you are trying to go about your workday or as you are doing the simplest task, the knowledge reawakens you that cancer cells are somewhere active inside your body. It does not matter where the cancer cells are clustered, the rush of fear and worry overtakes you, even if it is for the briefest of moments.
The challenge all cancer patients have is to find a way to battle through and fight this disease with every fiber of their being. I’ve had enough days where my cancer knowledge controlled my thoughts. The fear of suffering and death from cancer is overwhelming. Yet, all cancer patients find that little something inside to tackle whatever the is laid at our feet.
For me, when I’ve struggled with this fear, my comfort has come from the knowledge that God in heaven sees my struggle and is there to help. My faith-filled heart leads me to the knowledge that no matter what I may struggle with, everything in my life is done for the glory of God and His Kingdom. I know my faith in my Lord Jesus Christ will lead me home.
This evening, on my second day of oral chemotherapy in my third round of treatment, I once again got very ill. Finding myself kneeling next to the toilet is not a pleasant place to be. In fact, the bathroom floor is not a great place for anything. But tonight, that is where I found myself, head down, hand clasped, and eyes closed.
I’ve found that prayer has been a great stress reliever for me during my seven months of fighting cancer. By saying simple, heartfelt words asking for help, the pressure on my heart and mind is lifted for I know my God is listening and answering.
I thought of how I live with cancer while I was reading this brilliant blog post on the New York Times website this evening. Edie Littlefield Sundby, the blog post’s author and cancer fighter, wrote the following:
I keep my emotional and mental immune system healthy by trying not to take things too personally or too seriously. Ecclesiastes is my single most important self-help source. The sage asks, in essence, what is the point of life? In the end he determines that wisdom suggests living well, keeping to the commandments of God and enjoying every bit of life we have the good fortune to spend.
Honestly, I haven’t read Ecclesiastes in a long time. But throughout her writing, she presented her battle with cancer is such a strong, positive way. The cancer she has is terminal, yet her continued outlook impressed me to tears.
Before I fall asleep this evening, I will say a prayer for Edie and her family.