Radiation treatment for my throat cancer is getting to me. At the most inopportune moment, my body just wants to shut down just because it is worn out. My eyes get so heavy, I really don’t want to move off the chair or the couch or even out of the car sitting in the garage. Whenever the tiredness really overtakes me, it wins.
One the over-tired moments zapped me this afternoon, at around 12:30pm. I was home after doing a little running around this morning (pastoral galavanting that included picking up bagels and strawberries for tomorrow’s post-church “The Coffee Hour”) and was sitting on the couch. I caught the end of Neil Cavuto‘s business block on Fox News Channel and was exercising my remote control thumb, flipping around seeing what was being aired (not much, mind you). After not finding anything interesting, I decided to get off the couch and come over to church to get ready for tonight divine service. Mind you, I went upstairs to brush my teeth and change my clerical shirt — and didn’t get either accomplished.
I went into the bedroom and pulled out a freshly pressed (as of Thursday, that is) clerical from the closet, laid it on the bed and BAM – the tiredness hit me. My eyes got really heavy. Usually, I can fight through these bouts, but whatever hit me today, it just overpowered me.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I figured if I just sat for a moment, I could catch myself and recharge. Today, that didn’t happen. Three hours later, after laying my head down and falling asleep, I struggled to get out of bed. Even now, as I sit in my church office, I feel as though I ran a marathon and need a lot of sleep.
My oncologist told me that I would face days like this, and as my treatment continues, this tiredness would get worse. In my first round of cancer treatment, I was tired, but I think I was more worried about being sick all the time to really give the tiredness a second thought. Now that I am just tired, it is really hitting me.
However, since I am in church, we will have church this evening at 5pm, our Lutheran version of 5 o’clock Mass. All are welcome.
I DIDN’T FORGET: Yes, I do realize that the First Place New York Yankees take on the Red Sox this afternoon in the MLB Game of the Week. No, my sermon has not been shortened by a syllable and is of normal length.